Tag Archives: this i believe

Just want to get away from it all

Posted on July 7, 2009 | Leave a comment
MABA in Augusta, MO

MABA in Augusta, MO

But can’t afford a spa?

Everyday we are logged on, synched up, plugged in, downloading, uploaded, online, tuned in, check out…deep inhale. News and information buzzes all around, lists of to dos pile up and become endlessly long…kids to camp, meetings to make, repair person to call,  doctor appointments to schedule…and throw in a couple loads of laundry while we’re at it.

Our lifestyles can easily become ridiculous. It’s all we can do sometimes to find those 15 minutes a day to give ourselves, let alone an hour for working out or yoga or whatever.

And let’s face it, a week away on a deserted island is a pipe dream. Even a weekend away at a spa somewhere for a little r & r is laughable.

What’s a stress case to do?

Consider the monastic getaway.

Hold up. Let’s stop and address all concerned – From those with a strong religious background, to the agnostic, and even aetheist friends – on a few important points here.

“Retreating” could offer the following:  1. Simple room and board to people of all backgrounds and denominations or lack there of. 2. complete solitude 3.peace and relaxation. 4. praying and/or meditation are optional and not required. 5. Schedules are not given. Your time is your own. 6. Usually costs are based on what you can donate or afford.

A monastic retreat offers perspective and balance…old school style.

Spirituality may or may not be something you aspire to, but there are few adverse to a little peace of mind and quiet away from the everyday rat race. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to run away for some solitude and self care. You may even learn something from those whose lives are lived simply and with such love for humanity.

There are monasteries, abbeys, and retreat houses throughout the US and the world. Here are a few samples:

Conception Abbey, Conception, MO

Mid America Buddhist Association, Augusta, MO

The Monastery of Christ in the Dessert in Abiqiu, NM

Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, Berkshire Hills of MA

Valermo Retreat, San Gabriel Mountains, Valyermo, CA

The Raj, Fairfield, IA ( This one is significantly more expensive, and yes it IS a spa, however it seemed important to showcase an ayurvedic option as well).

Christ in the Desert Monastery, Albiqu, NM

Christ in the Desert Monastery, Albiqu, NM

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Let Go – Releasing tension essential for balance

Posted on June 25, 2009 | Leave a comment

topofworld

Feel like life is fueled by stress?

Without it, would nothing get done?

Is life about constantly running from one event or meeting to the next?

Long for a week or two vacation,  just sitting on the beach?

Welcome to the party.  You are one of the millions of tension junkies that believe this is what normal life should be.

Yeah. We need stress. It’s the necessary fight or flight instinct.  In modern life, encountering dangerous situations is rare, but, the instinct is always there. The human body is prepared for disaster. Tension junkies live in disaster mode everyday.

Among innumerable symptoms, prolonged stress breeds muscle atrophy and joint imbalance. Keeping the body in a high alert state creates significantly greater risk of petering out quickly…In other words, illness and ultimately death comes much faster. Nice thought, eh.

Constant stress and tension is unnecessary energy expended. It’s like running your car in the garage, day in and day out, keeping it ready because of the fear it might not work if you turn it off.  By learning to release stress, muscles lengthen, energy in the mind and body is preserved, and happiness ensues.

As a tension junky, here’s the most important realization to grasp right now:

The biggest challenge in modern society is to stop, relax and turn inward. Letting go will be the hardest part.

There it is. Challenged defined. Once realized, begin to attempt simple relaxing techniques. Whatever can be done, be it 20 minutes or 2 minutes, will get you on your way to being a more centered person.

progressive relaxation

progressive relaxation

#1. Find 15 minutes of solitude to practice progressive relaxation. It’s kind of like reverse psychology for yourself. Lying down is best for this, although you can sit up. Spend a few moments investigating each part of the body, inhaling and contracting, or bracing the muscles. Slowly exhale, releasing the bracing completely. Letting the muscles feel warm and heavy, completely relaxed. Try it a couple times from head to toe. After, scan to see if there are any remaining tension spots and focus extra attention on them.  Don’t skip a muscle: eyes, jaw, abdomen, even your toes.

#2. Find 10 minutes to focus on your breathing for relaxation. Inhale and take in fresh air and relaxation, slowly exhale out muscle stress and mind clutter, feeling your body sinking into the ground or chair.

#3. Find moments throughout the day when your stress responses are triggered. Your heart beats fast, breathing is shallow, flinching to avoid traffic, or the brain feels stressed. Recognize these moments and take a second to recover, breathing slowly, relaxing the muscles, and let your mind and body know that everything is okay. Being flexible and able to lower stress levels at will is great stress management.

Keep your brain in your body! Science has long separated the brain from the rest of the body. It is slowly bringing the two back together. Tension is not just held in your mind, it is held in the body, in every muscle and every cell. Research is beginning to coordinate movement, breathing, aesthetic therapies, even music and language skills, to create a more centered body and mind…a more healthy individual.

With that said, here is another stress lowering technique:

#4. Enjoyable exercise or activities brings stress levels down, and keeps the mind and body in balance.I must stress enjoyable. Treadmills might not cut it. Go Outdoors, swim, play an instrument, play with children, paint a picture, dance to music, find an outlet. Create your own release.

From an exercise perspective, effectively letting go of neck and shoulder tension, or hip tension, allows true movement from the center of the body. Keep this in mind when exercising. Explore different muscles in the core, by simply breathing and letting go.

Everyday life should be a balance of vacation and work, of stress and calm, of chaos and silence. Balance and flexibility make for a happier lifetime.relax-linea

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A Letter to President Obama on Smoking

Posted on June 18, 2009 | Leave a comment

Dear President Obama,

Hey. How’s it going?

Word on the street is you got a full plate. What with; the economy, a new dog, auto-makers, global warming, Iran, banking systems, North Korea, a young family, national health care,  social issues of various shapes and sizes…and not to mention you’ve been at your new diggs for little over 5 months.

I’d be smoking if I were you.

Smoking can be construed as cool. (Picking your nose could be cool too, i just don’t know that guy) I certainly thought so at one point.  Anyone who smokes knows it is true at one point in their lives. Be aware, the strongest propaganda can back fire.

At 21, anti-establishment, within collegiate reason, was my rule.  An on-air personality for an Illinois NPR jazz affiliate, I longed for a deep sultry voice, and the character of Frank Black – the 60 year old construction worker from Mississippi who hosted the weekend blues show, just without his hardships.  I started drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and hanging in dingy diners, where locals would roll their eyes at another college kid coming through. I fell in love with Tom Waits, John Lee Hooker, Billie Holiday….all the good raspy voices with lots of soul and artistic angst.

My relationship with smoking began, because it was art romanticized. Smoking seemed soulful and pensive. Many times it was the only quiet moments spent with my 1000 mph thoughts. Smoking was a mediation.

Problem is, my body doesn’t consider smoking to be artful, and neither does the world around me. It’s hard being a pilates instructor and a smoker at the same time. (Though I’m sure President is worse). Covering up the scent, sneaking them in the car, hiding behind the building. I work out. I eat better than most. Couldn’t I have my vice? (I still feel my logic isn’t totally flawed here.) Attempting to stand defiant, my conscience always felt off.  Damn it.

The decision was to quit once. Only when ready. Otherwise, just keep smoking. About 11 years after I started, on April Fools day, 2007, it was time. I quit. I just stopped. And it sucked.

Green tea curbed the nicotine cravings. Sitting down to a routine pot of tea and mandarins in the evening instead of cigarettes and wine on the back porch helped.  Locking myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes, or stepping outside, and inhaling deep breaths, as though smoking, to relax helped.  Keeping a notebook to jot down thoughts or expletives when frustrated or “full-brained” helped.

President Obama, sounds like you have some pent up energy and stress. Try finding decompression alternatives. I know you exercise, but try channeling the smoking energy into new personal ceremonies, habits, and/or meditations for yourself…not for the greater good of the country. Yeah. Easier said than done, but keep it mind, OK? You have to own personal habits…or disown them as the case may be.

I still think smoking looks cool in certain contexts. But, I choose not to be cool in that way anymore. There’s gotta be other ways to identify artistically…other ways to be anti-establishment without hurting…other ways to have meditative moments without hiding.

Good luck and don’t quit if you’re not ready.  It won’t work. You’re still cool no matter what. I got your back.

Hey, best of luck with everything!  If you need a movement instructor to help you and the White House staff, I’d be happy to start the Mind/Body Fitness Movement from the White House. Imagine the health care savings from lowering stress levels!

…just adding another side to your plate.

Best Regards,

Stephanie L. Ellison

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Make Yourself a Little Nervous (trapeze debut)

Posted on June 3, 2009 | Leave a comment

trapeze

We all have our imperfections we wish we could change. It’s hard to be a woman and not have body issues.  Nevertheless, I had always dreamed of doing something daring and pretty. St. Louis has Aerial Arts classes for adults. Without forethought, I registered.

I was by far the oldest in the class, the youngest, Ruby, was twelve. Intimidated by my own body, there were definitely feelings of doubt. The soreness and bruises in the beginning were pretty crazy. But the drive to prove to myself I could do this was so strong, that the bruises became marks of fierceness.

I had a goal: to get through 3 months of trapeze and perform in a recital. (It’s all I talked about for 3months). For the recital, I unwittingly invited everyone I could muster, realizing later, the stakes were now raised.

And I did it.

It’s imperfect, just like me, but beautiful in its imperfection. I did it.  I was a trapeze performer. Funny thing is, without realizing it, the shaping up and being healthier thing just happened. It was too much fun to notice. The whole experience has been mentally and physically exhilarating.

Which is why I am sharing it with you…not to mention every ex boyfriend and junior high nemesis to see. Geesh. I prefer internet photo anonymity, but I’m swallowing my pride and embarrassment hoping my experience can inspire someone else. Not to specifically do a trapeze class, but something new, just slightly out of your comfort zone. Make life a little more breath taking!

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Weight: It’s All the Rage, All the Time

Posted on June 2, 2009 | 1 comment

400_kalley_oprah_090430_oprahwinfreyshow

An article about the American obsession with celebrity and weight showed up in last Sunday’s  New York Times. One phrase seemed strikingly poignant:

…Americans equate body size with Puritan values...

Let’s put it into context.

Speaking to the yo-yo weight of celebrities like Oprah Winfrey and Kirstie Alley, Charlotte Biltekoff, an assistant professor and researcher of food and values at UC Davis, was quoted saying, ” Americans equate body size to Puritan values. Thin means self discipline and hard work; fat implies laziness, gluttony and lack of willpower. A dieter signals publicity that she/he is “in the process of self-denial, recovery, and reform.

Dr. Rebecca Puhl, an expert on weight stigma at Yale’s Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity is quoted as saying, ” People who internalize these stereotypes are more likely to engage in binge eating and other unhealthy behaviors that lead to weight gain.”

The solution? Just be healthy. Embrace your shape. Make peace with who you are today, not dreaming of who you will be in a month. Look, I know. It’s a friggin’ tall order.

Relinquishing the cultural norms takes some strength.

Take Beth Ditto

Beth Ditto and Karl LagerfeldRock and Roll Singer and Indie Fashionista extrordinaire, Beth seems to be known more for her body size than her music, liberating masses of women through her self confidence in her shape and sexuality.

love magazine

It is awesome Beth is out there, making creative and social waves, but, realize, she is morbidly obese. Truth.  It’s the same as recognizing many of our young celebs are anorexic.

lindsay lohan 3 210409

Our cultural expectations anticipate celebrities and public figures to be thin, and yet 1 in 50 Americans are morbidly obese. In between these two ends of the spectrum is you, me, and everyone else. Wherever you land in the spectrum, recognize the desire to be beautiful, physically and mentally, can not be fulfilled from the outside looking in, although we are programmed to believe so via media, culture, yadayada. Beauty is there in every body type, you just have to embrace it. The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) offers great information not only on eating disorders, but on ways to promote within yourself a healthy body image.  This information is useful to everyone.

This is a call to everyone; big, small, man, or woman, celebrity, or not….Own your own shape and uniqueness from every angle, inside and out. Create your own style. Make a statement. Most of us will never be Twiggy, but there is much more glamour and seduction in a well placed curve. Once you own your body, promise to take care of it. Eat healthy when you can, find movement you enjoy, and laugh. Strive to create a sound mind and body for you. The word weight will begin to lose its stigma.

PF-happy-pensioner_1120143c

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I’m Serious. Get out there and PLAY, damn it.

Posted on March 30, 2009 | 1 comment

encouraging-adults-to-play-in-the-rain1When was the last time you hula hooped? juggled oranges? Played in a warm summer rain? Jumped rope or on a trampoline? Hung by your knees from the jungle gym?

Now hold up. Before the eye rolling begins, I want you to give it a serious minute. I want you to picture yourself hula hooping, in the backyard, with your children, grandchildren, or, niece and nephew. I can almost guarantee you want to smile just a little bit right now…in between the desire to eyeroll. Come on now. Embrace the cheese and let go.

Physical play is important as a child. It helps in motor skill development, exploration and curiosity inquiring into how things work. It is no different now. In a way it’s like riding a bike, you never forget, you just get rusty. You have to give yourself permission to let go, live a little, and just play.

We all know the benefits of exercise throughout our lifetimes. I’m just not convinced, however, that getting on the treadmill, or going to the gym really does it though. Let’s be honest. For most of us, it is not fun. You might feel better, or at least physically exhausted to match the mental work of sitting at a computer or in meetings all day, BUT, the thought of going to the gym does not make you smile. How can that truly be good for stress levels? Exercise soon becomes another “have to” or “should”, like bills and taxes. So now exercise get a bum rap.

Usually play and exercise are not thought of in the same category, especially for adults. The usual connection is play equals  embarrassment, or play only happens on Wii. Why should fun and “letting go” be so difficult? It is exercise too! Hula Hoops are great for coordination and the abdominals, back, and hips. The jungle gym is all about arm strength and balance, and jump roping, is pure aerobic activity. Coordination and balance tend to go as we age, but not so much if you continue to explore and challenge those skills in ways that are fun and relatively safe for the body.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get outside on one of these fine blooming spring days, go get yourself a hula hoop (and perhaps a child relative to make you feel less self conscious) or a jump rope.  Go to the park, find the playground, and play. And if you can’t? Most of us have one of those balance balls deflated in the house somewhere. Blow it up and jump around on it for 10 minutes or so, alternating legs, shifting your hips, going in circles…play with it.  If your mission is completed, I think you might be feeling a little better, smiling a little more, and acknowledging the kid inside never has to really go away.

knerr_hula_hoop

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A Matter of Balance

Posted on February 6, 2009 | Leave a comment


“When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself,
art cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless
and intelligence cannot be applied.” Herophilus

“Everything in moderation, even moderation.” Oscar Wilde

lighting-a-cigarette-off-a-100-candle-funny-old-la1


I am a Pilates Instructor, which I guess makes me a part of the fitness industry. Before you get the wrong idea about me though, I have a few confessions to make. I smoked for over ten years, only quitting 2 years ago. Have made friends with clinical depression (who hasn’t) for 20 years . I’m not tan, nor blonde. I once did public relations work for The National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, so yes, I like meat. I love champagne, a good mocha, and generally anything with sugar, and I hate running or spinning or sweating too much. I’m not exactly what one might expect from a fitness instructor, but I’d rather just confess, like the recovering Catholic that I am.

On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve also worked for National Public Radio, try to eat some whole grains and veggies once in awhile, try to exercise, sometimes regularly, by finding activities I enjoy, like swimming, dance and taking up the trapeze. I love hearing life stories from my clients. I learn more from every person I meet, and I truly enjoy helping people feel a little better.

I also speak Japanese and have worked in a; costume shop, coffee house, comedy club, jazz club, italian restaurant, animation studio, trucking company, several public relations firms, a couple of pilates studios, and once as a cafeteria dishwasher. Either I have had a lack of focus in the past or I enjoy a good three ring circus.

The point of selling you my resume is that we are all human, making mistakes, stopping and starting, getting into routines, ruts, habits.  AND THAT’S OKAY. Life is messy.

It’s all a matter of balance, and balance is really just PHYSICS.


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